Thursday, June 3, 2010

A strategy to help kids excel-By Dr. Patrick Cohn

A sports parent tells us her son really shines on the field
during practice. "He's way beyond all the other boys in terms of
technical and tactical skills during practice."

However, here's the "But." And it's a big one.

During a game, she says, you wouldn't know her son excels in
practice.

Does this sound familiar? Do your sports kids have trouble
transferring skills from practice to games? Read on to learn how
sports parents and coaches can conquer this challenge.

During a game, this parent says, her son plays with no
confidence. "He says he is afraid of losing the ball. He wouldn't
lose the ball if he applied his skills."

This sports parent put her finger right on a common problem: Fear
and lack of trust. That's often what holds kids back during
games. In fact, young athletes who are highly motivated and
--sometimes perfectionists-- experience this challenge.

These athletes love to train, but lack confidence during games.
They tend to analyze and question their technique at precisely
the wrong moment—when they're competing. They're afraid of making
mistakes.

In order to feel confident during games, young athletes need to
strike a balance between what we call the "practice" mindset and
the "performance" mindset.

Many motivated or goal-oriented athletes excel in practice. They
like to improve and love to train.. However, if they focus too
much on improving, they may lose faith in their skills during
competition. They lack trust in what they have learned.

Coaches and sports parents can undermine kids' trust in their
skills when they over-coach kids before games. When kids focus
too much on proper technique during games and attempt to be
"perfect" when performing, they can't react or perform from
memory.

Instead, you need to encourage kids to leave practice on the
field or court or in the gym. Help them switch to a "performer"
or "intuitive" mindset. They need to be more reactive and to keep
things simple. "See the ball and hit it."

Also, tell them to stop analyzing or judging their technique
during competition. They should accept that they can't be perfect.

Want to learn more about how to improve kids' confidence and
transfer what they've learned in practice to competition? Grab
our Kids' Sports Psychology e-book, "Twelve Pre-game Strategies
to Help Athletes Trust in Their Skills."

If you're already an exclusive Kids' Sports Psychology member,
you can download the e-book now. We also have other mental
toughness resources about this topic, including:

*Success stories from Kids' Sports Psychology Members

*Pre-competition Mental Game Review Sheets for Young Athletes

*Interviews with young athletes and our analysis of their mental
game ("Inside the Minds of Young Athletes")

This is just for starters. At Kids' Sports Psychology, you can
download loads of other resources--e-books, audios, videos and
articles designed to help instill confidence and success in young
athletes:

http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/

Your Confidence Coaches,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn

P.S. If you're already a Kids' Sports Psychology member, you can
visit this page to download our e-book, "Twelve Pre-game
Strategies to Help Athletes Trust in Their Skills:

http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/public/449.cfm

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Your Sports Kids Could Be Targets by Dr. Patrick Cohn

Thursday, May 20, 2010 ·

Your sports kids could be the targets of intimidation, harassment, exclusion, physical aggression and other forms of bullying—from athletes and/or coaches. And you might not even know it.

Why? Often, young athletes’ first reaction to being treated this way is shame, says Mark Hamilton, a professor of philosophy who teaches college courses in sports ethics at Ashland University.

Sports kids are embarrassed to talk about such treatment.

As a former college player and coach, a youth sports coach, and sports parent, Hamilton knows what he’s talking about. Read on to learn how to protect your kids and combat the bullying epidemic in sports.

Bullied sports kids feel as if they are guilty of something and actually caused kids to treat them badly, says Hamilton. “Victims often feel like it’s their fault and there’s something wrong with them.”

Hamilton saw the negative effects of bullying early on when his brother was ridiculed and pushed out of sports. Bullying in sports, he says, can be devastating.

In the least, harassment, intimidation and other forms of bullying will sink kids’ confidence and hurt their success and enjoyment of sports. At its worst, these aggressive behaviors can cause young athletes to drop out of sports and to feel depressed.

“They’ll want to quit the sport,” says Hamilton. Parents will often feel confused, and think their kids are wimping out, he says. That’s because kids are often too embarrassed to explain what’s happening to them on the court or field or in the gym.

All kinds of sports kids can be the targets of bullies….

1. Gifted athletes are often targeted because others are jealous.
2. Kids who are smaller and less physically advanced also can become the focus of bullies.
3. When kids are competing for a ladder position on a team, bullying is also common.

This behavior is rampant among both girls and boys.

What’s the solution?

Hamilton says parents need to be especially tuned into the possibility that their kids might be bullied. That means talking about it openly and establishing a family culture that encourages kids to talk about such treatment. But that’s not all. We need a revolution, he says. And everyone should be involved.

“The first step is revolutionize sports and teach people it’s unacceptable from player to player and coach to athlete and from coach or parent or any other person involved– including the officials,” he says.

Here at the Ultimate Sports Parent, we want to join the revolution and help wipe out bullying in sports. That’s why we’re about to release a new program:

“Helping Sports Kids Stay Confident and Mentally Tough in the Face of Bullying.”

We’ll have all the details for you on Monday, May 24, when we release our new program. Stay tuned….

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Why do sports kids bully? by Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.

(Video link of discussion provided in links section of this blog)

Judging from the many emails and comments we've received from
sports parents and coaches lately, bullying is an important
topic to you.

It should be. Bullying is rampant in sports--and kids don't like
to talk about it.

We just produced a new video on bullying for you. Whether you're
a sports parent concerned about how your kids are treated in
sports, or a coach who want what's best for your young athletes,
you need to watch this.

Today we're sharing an interview with Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., a
psychologist with 25 years' experience and the author of "Why
Good Kids Act Cruel.”

In this interview--conducted by Lisa Cohn--Dr. Pickhardt explains
why kids bully and what issues make bullying worse. He reveals:

--> The five most typical bullying behaviors.

--> The developmental issues that cause kids to treat each other
badly—even when they're good kids.

--> What kids are looking for when they try to hurt each other.

--> When and how bullying behavior improves.

--> The critical role of coaches in either preventing or
exacerbating bullying in sports.

To see our video based on Lisa's interview with Dr. Pickhardt,
watch it on our blog:

http://youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=627

Sincerely,

Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.

P.S. Thanks so much for all your emails and blog entries, which
we're incorporating into new resources aimed at fighting
bullying in sports.

If you have more to add to the conversation, please return this
email or post your anonymous comment on our blog:

http://youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=621

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Fight Bullying in Sports by Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn

Bullying is an epidemic in our society today. It's especially
rampant in sports.

A recent survey of high school students across the U.S. found
that 48% of respondents had been subjected to hazing--a form of
bullying in which kids are humiliated or required to take part
in dangerous activities. Much of this hazing happens in sports,
the study found.

Young athletes are bullied by adults as well as peers. Youth
coaches often yell at, tease, humiliate and intimidate kids.

Bullying is a sure-fire way to hurt young athletes' confidence
and enjoyment of sports. In fact, many kids who are bullied drop
out.

Parents have told us they don't know what to do to help their
kids cope with bullies--or how to prevent them from quitting
when they're targets.

Paul Coughlin, a sports dad and coach, says his son quit playing
soccer because two of the kids on the team picked on his son
repeatedly. "They made fun of his hair and what he was wearing,"
he says.

In this case, the bullies were physically advanced, and used
that power to put other kids down, he says. "It was awful for us
as parents. We felt powerless," says Coughlin, now an
anti-bullying advocate.

Not only are the less physically advanced athletes targets of
bullies. So are gifted athletes. Bullies try to hurt gifted
athletes because they're jealous.

Kirsten, a sports mom, says a group of jealous boys tried to
beat up her son. They also stole his belongings, damaged his
belongings, and described sexual acts to him.

Kids, parents and coaches should not tolerate bullies. But
dealing with them is tricky. That's because kids are afraid and
embarrassed to talk about being bullied.

What's more, bullies are crafty and it's hard to catch them. And
schools, sports teams and other organizations often turn a blind
eye to bullies.

Here at the Ultimate Sports Parent, we're developing a series of
resources to show parents and coaches how to help kids stay
mentally tough in the face of bullies.

We're also working on resources specifically for young athletes,
aimed at helping them stay mentally tough in the likely event
that they'll deal with this challenge at some point in sports.

We'll reveal more details of our new program later, but our aim
is to provide practical, proven sports psychology tips for
helping kids stay confident, focused and on track when bullies
target them.

Right now, we need your help!

Do you have any stories to share with us about bullying? You
might discuss the following:

*Have your kids or any of their friends ever been the target of
bullies—peers or coaches--in sports?

*How did this treatment affect the young athletes?

*How did you as parents and your kids' coaches address this?

*Were your efforts successful in putting an end to the bullying?

We'd appreciate it if you post your comments on our blog here:

http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=621

If you'd rather, you can also reply to this email with your
story.

Thanks for your input. Stay tuned for more bullying resources
very soon.


Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn


P.S. One last question: Do you suspect or worry your young
athlete may be bullied in sports, but feel he or she is too
embarrassed to tell you? Please post your comments on our blog
or return this email!

http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=621

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Interesting E-mail- When Kids drop out!

Sent: Wed, April 14, 2010 10:00:00 AM

When kids drop out because of little playing time!
At first, Brian Sanders' son enjoyed sports. He had a coach who
gave all the kids equal playing time. The second year, the boy
dropped out of sports altogether because the coach gave him—and
other players—little playing time.

"Kids drop out because of these negative experiences," says
Sanders.

In fact, up to 75% of kids drop out of sports by the time they
are 13—mostly because they're not having fun anymore. Read on to
learn about how to keep kids in sports if they have little
playing time or are losing confidence.

Sanders is now president and CEO of I9 Sports, a fast-growing
sports franchise that gives all kids equal playing time. He says
equal playing time helps build their confidence and self-esteem.

Here at The Ultimate Sports Parent and Kids' Sports Psychology,
we agree that little playing time can hurt kids' confidence and
sometimes cause them to drop out. But not always. Why?

Often, when kids get little playing time, they feel unsupported
by their coaches. They begin to feel like they're bad players.
Or they develop fear of failure.

They're afraid that if they make mistakes, they'll get even less
playing time. This creates a negative cycle: They're so afraid
of making mistakes that they take no risks, play or perform
tentatively and aren't very effective.

The truth is, kids can still enjoy being on teams when they have
little playing time. It all depends on how the coach handles
this situation. If a coach is positive, supportive, builds team
unity and ensures the kids have fun, it's likely a child will
stay with the team.

It's your job as sports parents to find these coaches for your
sports kids. Read on to learn what to look for in a sports
experience.

We know one very popular basketball coach who recognizes each
child's strengths, focuses on them and tries to build on them.
He makes the team fun by joking around with his players.

What's more, if he puts a less skilled or less confident player
in a game, he tries to set up a situation that will allow the
player to feel successful. He always praises the players for
what they do well and points out ways they can grow or have
grown.

This coach emphasizes teamwork and creates a real "family" for
the team members. Many of the kids who spend most of their time
sitting on the bench don't want to miss one minute of practice
or any games with this coach!

Why? This coach makes them feel important, ensures they have fun
and boosts their confidence by pointing out their small but
important "wins." Such wins might include making lots of
rebounds or passing well.

In summary, if you're worried that your sports kids might drop
out, make sure their experience builds their confidence and
enjoyment of the game. Little playing time can hurt
confidence--but it can also spur kids to try harder and improve
their game. But that only happens if they're having fun.

Want to learn more about what to do when kids struggle with
little playing time or low confidence in sports?

At Kids' Sports Psychology, you can access many videos,
articles, audios and e-books that help you improve your sports
parenting skills and boost your child's success and enjoyment of
sports.

For example, here's just a sample of the resources that
might help kids with little playing time:

-->Audio: How lack of playing time affects kids' confidence

-->E-book for sports kids: Growing From Adversity: How to Stay
Confident After Failure

-->Audio interview with youth sports coach James Jackson: How to
keep young athletes engaged and ensure they're having fun

-->Article: Is winning more important than giving equal playing
time? Help your sports kids enjoy all the benefits of taking
part in sports and ensure they stay in sports!

http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/

Here's what parents are saying about our resources:

"We appreciate your work so much. Especially with our son an
elite athlete, it helps us understand how he thinks, what he
needs, and how not to become one of those typical sports
parents.”
~Kristen Lenko, a sports mom in Canada

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn

P.S. If you're already a Kids' Sports Psychology member, you can
visit this page to listen to our audio about how lack of playing
time affects kids' confidence in sports:

http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/members/148.cfm

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

BMI rates in Dennis-Yarmouth Schools?

According to recent literature, the obesity rate for children in MA, ages 10 to 17 years, is at 30% obesity. Some articles are provided in our Link sections for your review. Given the schools recent mandate this year to commence BMI tracking on our 1st graders, it will be important to monitor how our town children are doing in comparison to state wide percentages and to see where our children score at this early age. The BMI score is an excellent point in which to begin our discussions about how best to educate our children and families about promoting a healthy life style and weight focusing on nutrition and being active.
Within the Physical Education program, getting children active, improving their endurance and strength, while making it fun is a key ingredient to developing a child's life long love for staying active. Educating them about healthy lifestyles is also a key ingredient in our class discussions about eating healthy and making healthy choices.
Your questions and comments are welcome as we work together to address this epidemic of obesity, a challenge for all of us.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

LET'S START JUMPING!

This week April 12 to April 16 is our week to do Jump Rope For Heart! We have decided to have every gym class participate in an obstacle course format. There are 18 fun stations in which each student will perform some type of challenge, for example: bouncing on a bouncy ball around cones, jumping on trampolines, bouncing 1 or 2 balls at once, swinging on a rope, climbing and jumping off our mountain, jumping rope....and more.
The children were given fundraising envelopes to bring home, and were told that each family will make their own decision as to whether to donate to this cause or to their own personal charity. Children who do collect money should have the envelopes back to school by April 27Th! We will then mail all of the collections to the American Heart Association and should get back the children's prizes by approx.
June 4Th, at which time we will distribute them to the children who earned prizes by their collections.
Thanks so much once again, and hope that we can, again, make a generous donation on behalf of the school's students to this worthy charity.