Interesting E-mail- When Kids drop out!

Sent: Wed, April 14, 2010 10:00:00 AM

When kids drop out because of little playing time!
At first, Brian Sanders' son enjoyed sports. He had a coach who
gave all the kids equal playing time. The second year, the boy
dropped out of sports altogether because the coach gave him—and
other players—little playing time.

"Kids drop out because of these negative experiences," says
Sanders.

In fact, up to 75% of kids drop out of sports by the time they
are 13—mostly because they're not having fun anymore. Read on to
learn about how to keep kids in sports if they have little
playing time or are losing confidence.

Sanders is now president and CEO of I9 Sports, a fast-growing
sports franchise that gives all kids equal playing time. He says
equal playing time helps build their confidence and self-esteem.

Here at The Ultimate Sports Parent and Kids' Sports Psychology,
we agree that little playing time can hurt kids' confidence and
sometimes cause them to drop out. But not always. Why?

Often, when kids get little playing time, they feel unsupported
by their coaches. They begin to feel like they're bad players.
Or they develop fear of failure.

They're afraid that if they make mistakes, they'll get even less
playing time. This creates a negative cycle: They're so afraid
of making mistakes that they take no risks, play or perform
tentatively and aren't very effective.

The truth is, kids can still enjoy being on teams when they have
little playing time. It all depends on how the coach handles
this situation. If a coach is positive, supportive, builds team
unity and ensures the kids have fun, it's likely a child will
stay with the team.

It's your job as sports parents to find these coaches for your
sports kids. Read on to learn what to look for in a sports
experience.

We know one very popular basketball coach who recognizes each
child's strengths, focuses on them and tries to build on them.
He makes the team fun by joking around with his players.

What's more, if he puts a less skilled or less confident player
in a game, he tries to set up a situation that will allow the
player to feel successful. He always praises the players for
what they do well and points out ways they can grow or have
grown.

This coach emphasizes teamwork and creates a real "family" for
the team members. Many of the kids who spend most of their time
sitting on the bench don't want to miss one minute of practice
or any games with this coach!

Why? This coach makes them feel important, ensures they have fun
and boosts their confidence by pointing out their small but
important "wins." Such wins might include making lots of
rebounds or passing well.

In summary, if you're worried that your sports kids might drop
out, make sure their experience builds their confidence and
enjoyment of the game. Little playing time can hurt
confidence--but it can also spur kids to try harder and improve
their game. But that only happens if they're having fun.

Want to learn more about what to do when kids struggle with
little playing time or low confidence in sports?

At Kids' Sports Psychology, you can access many videos,
articles, audios and e-books that help you improve your sports
parenting skills and boost your child's success and enjoyment of
sports.

For example, here's just a sample of the resources that
might help kids with little playing time:

-->Audio: How lack of playing time affects kids' confidence

-->E-book for sports kids: Growing From Adversity: How to Stay
Confident After Failure

-->Audio interview with youth sports coach James Jackson: How to
keep young athletes engaged and ensure they're having fun

-->Article: Is winning more important than giving equal playing
time? Help your sports kids enjoy all the benefits of taking
part in sports and ensure they stay in sports!

http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/

Here's what parents are saying about our resources:

"We appreciate your work so much. Especially with our son an
elite athlete, it helps us understand how he thinks, what he
needs, and how not to become one of those typical sports
parents.”
~Kristen Lenko, a sports mom in Canada

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn

P.S. If you're already a Kids' Sports Psychology member, you can
visit this page to listen to our audio about how lack of playing
time affects kids' confidence in sports:

http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/members/148.cfm