Why do sports kids bully? by Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.

(Video link of discussion provided in links section of this blog)

Judging from the many emails and comments we've received from
sports parents and coaches lately, bullying is an important
topic to you.

It should be. Bullying is rampant in sports--and kids don't like
to talk about it.

We just produced a new video on bullying for you. Whether you're
a sports parent concerned about how your kids are treated in
sports, or a coach who want what's best for your young athletes,
you need to watch this.

Today we're sharing an interview with Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., a
psychologist with 25 years' experience and the author of "Why
Good Kids Act Cruel.”

In this interview--conducted by Lisa Cohn--Dr. Pickhardt explains
why kids bully and what issues make bullying worse. He reveals:

--> The five most typical bullying behaviors.

--> The developmental issues that cause kids to treat each other
badly—even when they're good kids.

--> What kids are looking for when they try to hurt each other.

--> When and how bullying behavior improves.

--> The critical role of coaches in either preventing or
exacerbating bullying in sports.

To see our video based on Lisa's interview with Dr. Pickhardt,
watch it on our blog:

http://youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=627

Sincerely,

Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.

P.S. Thanks so much for all your emails and blog entries, which
we're incorporating into new resources aimed at fighting
bullying in sports.

If you have more to add to the conversation, please return this
email or post your anonymous comment on our blog:

http://youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=621

Fight Bullying in Sports by Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn

Bullying is an epidemic in our society today. It's especially
rampant in sports.

A recent survey of high school students across the U.S. found
that 48% of respondents had been subjected to hazing--a form of
bullying in which kids are humiliated or required to take part
in dangerous activities. Much of this hazing happens in sports,
the study found.

Young athletes are bullied by adults as well as peers. Youth
coaches often yell at, tease, humiliate and intimidate kids.

Bullying is a sure-fire way to hurt young athletes' confidence
and enjoyment of sports. In fact, many kids who are bullied drop
out.

Parents have told us they don't know what to do to help their
kids cope with bullies--or how to prevent them from quitting
when they're targets.

Paul Coughlin, a sports dad and coach, says his son quit playing
soccer because two of the kids on the team picked on his son
repeatedly. "They made fun of his hair and what he was wearing,"
he says.

In this case, the bullies were physically advanced, and used
that power to put other kids down, he says. "It was awful for us
as parents. We felt powerless," says Coughlin, now an
anti-bullying advocate.

Not only are the less physically advanced athletes targets of
bullies. So are gifted athletes. Bullies try to hurt gifted
athletes because they're jealous.

Kirsten, a sports mom, says a group of jealous boys tried to
beat up her son. They also stole his belongings, damaged his
belongings, and described sexual acts to him.

Kids, parents and coaches should not tolerate bullies. But
dealing with them is tricky. That's because kids are afraid and
embarrassed to talk about being bullied.

What's more, bullies are crafty and it's hard to catch them. And
schools, sports teams and other organizations often turn a blind
eye to bullies.

Here at the Ultimate Sports Parent, we're developing a series of
resources to show parents and coaches how to help kids stay
mentally tough in the face of bullies.

We're also working on resources specifically for young athletes,
aimed at helping them stay mentally tough in the likely event
that they'll deal with this challenge at some point in sports.

We'll reveal more details of our new program later, but our aim
is to provide practical, proven sports psychology tips for
helping kids stay confident, focused and on track when bullies
target them.

Right now, we need your help!

Do you have any stories to share with us about bullying? You
might discuss the following:

*Have your kids or any of their friends ever been the target of
bullies—peers or coaches--in sports?

*How did this treatment affect the young athletes?

*How did you as parents and your kids' coaches address this?

*Were your efforts successful in putting an end to the bullying?

We'd appreciate it if you post your comments on our blog here:

http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=621

If you'd rather, you can also reply to this email with your
story.

Thanks for your input. Stay tuned for more bullying resources
very soon.


Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn


P.S. One last question: Do you suspect or worry your young
athlete may be bullied in sports, but feel he or she is too
embarrassed to tell you? Please post your comments on our blog
or return this email!

http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=621

Interesting E-mail- When Kids drop out!

Sent: Wed, April 14, 2010 10:00:00 AM

When kids drop out because of little playing time!
At first, Brian Sanders' son enjoyed sports. He had a coach who
gave all the kids equal playing time. The second year, the boy
dropped out of sports altogether because the coach gave him—and
other players—little playing time.

"Kids drop out because of these negative experiences," says
Sanders.

In fact, up to 75% of kids drop out of sports by the time they
are 13—mostly because they're not having fun anymore. Read on to
learn about how to keep kids in sports if they have little
playing time or are losing confidence.

Sanders is now president and CEO of I9 Sports, a fast-growing
sports franchise that gives all kids equal playing time. He says
equal playing time helps build their confidence and self-esteem.

Here at The Ultimate Sports Parent and Kids' Sports Psychology,
we agree that little playing time can hurt kids' confidence and
sometimes cause them to drop out. But not always. Why?

Often, when kids get little playing time, they feel unsupported
by their coaches. They begin to feel like they're bad players.
Or they develop fear of failure.

They're afraid that if they make mistakes, they'll get even less
playing time. This creates a negative cycle: They're so afraid
of making mistakes that they take no risks, play or perform
tentatively and aren't very effective.

The truth is, kids can still enjoy being on teams when they have
little playing time. It all depends on how the coach handles
this situation. If a coach is positive, supportive, builds team
unity and ensures the kids have fun, it's likely a child will
stay with the team.

It's your job as sports parents to find these coaches for your
sports kids. Read on to learn what to look for in a sports
experience.

We know one very popular basketball coach who recognizes each
child's strengths, focuses on them and tries to build on them.
He makes the team fun by joking around with his players.

What's more, if he puts a less skilled or less confident player
in a game, he tries to set up a situation that will allow the
player to feel successful. He always praises the players for
what they do well and points out ways they can grow or have
grown.

This coach emphasizes teamwork and creates a real "family" for
the team members. Many of the kids who spend most of their time
sitting on the bench don't want to miss one minute of practice
or any games with this coach!

Why? This coach makes them feel important, ensures they have fun
and boosts their confidence by pointing out their small but
important "wins." Such wins might include making lots of
rebounds or passing well.

In summary, if you're worried that your sports kids might drop
out, make sure their experience builds their confidence and
enjoyment of the game. Little playing time can hurt
confidence--but it can also spur kids to try harder and improve
their game. But that only happens if they're having fun.

Want to learn more about what to do when kids struggle with
little playing time or low confidence in sports?

At Kids' Sports Psychology, you can access many videos,
articles, audios and e-books that help you improve your sports
parenting skills and boost your child's success and enjoyment of
sports.

For example, here's just a sample of the resources that
might help kids with little playing time:

-->Audio: How lack of playing time affects kids' confidence

-->E-book for sports kids: Growing From Adversity: How to Stay
Confident After Failure

-->Audio interview with youth sports coach James Jackson: How to
keep young athletes engaged and ensure they're having fun

-->Article: Is winning more important than giving equal playing
time? Help your sports kids enjoy all the benefits of taking
part in sports and ensure they stay in sports!

http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/

Here's what parents are saying about our resources:

"We appreciate your work so much. Especially with our son an
elite athlete, it helps us understand how he thinks, what he
needs, and how not to become one of those typical sports
parents.”
~Kristen Lenko, a sports mom in Canada

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn

P.S. If you're already a Kids' Sports Psychology member, you can
visit this page to listen to our audio about how lack of playing
time affects kids' confidence in sports:

http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/members/148.cfm

BMI rates in Dennis-Yarmouth Schools?

According to recent literature, the obesity rate for children in MA, ages 10 to 17 years, is at 30% obesity. Some articles are provided in our Link sections for your review. Given the schools recent mandate this year to commence BMI tracking on our 1st graders, it will be important to monitor how our town children are doing in comparison to state wide percentages and to see where our children score at this early age. The BMI score is an excellent point in which to begin our discussions about how best to educate our children and families about promoting a healthy life style and weight focusing on nutrition and being active.
Within the Physical Education program, getting children active, improving their endurance and strength, while making it fun is a key ingredient to developing a child's life long love for staying active. Educating them about healthy lifestyles is also a key ingredient in our class discussions about eating healthy and making healthy choices.
Your questions and comments are welcome as we work together to address this epidemic of obesity, a challenge for all of us.

LET'S START JUMPING!

This week April 12 to April 16 is our week to do Jump Rope For Heart! We have decided to have every gym class participate in an obstacle course format. There are 18 fun stations in which each student will perform some type of challenge, for example: bouncing on a bouncy ball around cones, jumping on trampolines, bouncing 1 or 2 balls at once, swinging on a rope, climbing and jumping off our mountain, jumping rope....and more.
The children were given fundraising envelopes to bring home, and were told that each family will make their own decision as to whether to donate to this cause or to their own personal charity. Children who do collect money should have the envelopes back to school by April 27Th! We will then mail all of the collections to the American Heart Association and should get back the children's prizes by approx.
June 4Th, at which time we will distribute them to the children who earned prizes by their collections.
Thanks so much once again, and hope that we can, again, make a generous donation on behalf of the school's students to this worthy charity.

Jump Rope Inspiration!

Watch the two videos on jump roping by the Kings Firecrackers, an 8th grade jump group of students, who perform at college games! Simply Amazing! We'll soon be starting our Jump Rope for Heart and would love to have the children develop a love for jump roping! We will be working on developing basic skills and with some students who show an interest, attempt to help them to move on to more difficult jumps. Let's All Get Jumping!

Physical Education has a key role in schools!

Please take a moment to read the article on "Combating Childhood Obesity With Physical Play Opportunities". With all the emphasis on testing and grades in our schools, physical education and recess are often looked at as places to cut education but as this article indicates, the lack of these programs has long term health implications.

We are fortunate that at DY schools, this has remained a priority in our schools and this article provides further support that our schools decision to maintain these programs is right on track with current medical thinking.

Here is an excerpt from this article and it is well worth reading!:

"When considering ’solutions’ for the childhood obesity problem, the basic factors involved in obesity must be considered. These include genetics, emotional stability, hormone levels, and intake-activity relationships. For the majority of people involved with children, the intake-activity relationship is the only factor with which it is possible to engage. And of that factor, only the ’activity’ aspect is within reach. But increasing the physical activity level among children is complicated. Schools, under pressure to increase test scores, are decreasing children’s opportunities to participate in recess and physical education (PE). In fact, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that PE classes are disappearing from schools in the United States, as evidenced by the drop in percentage of schools that have PE programs. In the 1990’s alone, the percentage of schools that offer PE classes dropped from over 40% to around 25%, and that number is still on the decline. As a result, schools are increasing the amount of time children’s bodies remain relatively stationary. Reductions in the amount of physical activity in schools may be leading to serious consequences. Researchers have found that children who were not engaged in a PE program at school gained 1 inch more around the waist and 2 pounds more overall than those who were involved in a PE curriculum."