Just how can sports parents encourage kids to take part in sports
and support them—without pressuring them?
That's a good question, and the answers are not so obvious. Read
on to get tips from Olympic fencer Tim Morehouse, who says his
parents knew just how to support him as he grew into an Olympic
athlete.
"I was very fortunate," he says. "My parents encouraged me to do
different things that I loved.”
The key, when kids are very young, he says, is to start slowly.
"When your kids are first trying a sport out, make sure they have
enough time to try it out and enjoy it. In the beginning, I
didn't like fencing. Over time, I realized I loved it.”
Starting slowly also means playing once a week or so, he says.
Too often, kids start playing two or three times a week. That's
too often, in his opinion. "See how it goes, evaluate it. After
three months, decide if you want to add practices.”
If your child enjoys the sport, it's a good idea to focus on the
importance of working hard. But that doesn't mean micro-managing
your child's experience, he says. That's where the delicate
balance between supporting and pressuring comes in.
"My parents encouraged me to work hard," he says. At the same
time, they wanted him to develop his own passions. For example,
he started out as a baseball player, then switched to fencing.
When he decided to switch, they supported him 100%.
Micro-managing, on the other hand, would involve attending kids'
games and yelling at them, Morehouse says.
Here at Kids' Sports Psychology, we agree that parents have to
strike a balance between pressuring their kids and supporting
them. We've got lots of additional tips for parents who aim to
support without pushing.
For example, you should set high, yet attainable goals for your
kids and offer them opportunities to fulfill their potential.
Focus on small improvements. For example, golfers can learn
simple tasks like keeping their heads down while putting. These
small improvements will help kids feel successful.
Want to learn more about how to motivate kids without pressuring
them?
At Kids' Sports Psychology, we suggest your check out this e-book:
"Motivate Young Athletes in Sports and Life." If you're already
an exclusive Kids' Sports Psychology member, you can download the
e-book for free.
Here's what people are saying about Kids' Sports Psychology:
"Using resources from the Kids' Sports Psychology website,
especially the worksheets, my son became much calmer and more
focused during competitions. He was able to perform instead of
worrying what others thought or what others were scoring."
~Sports Mom
Learn how to encourage your kids in sports without pressuring
them:
http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/
Sincerely,
Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.
P.S. If you're an exclusive Kids' Sports Psychology, visit this
page to access our e-book about positive motivation for kids:
http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/members/267.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Basic Motivation for a Healthy Diet- from SPARK
http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=82
Learn to Avoid Actions with Consequences
-- By Joe Downie, Certified Physical Fitness Instructor
SparkPeople advertisers help keep the site free! Learn more
Our bodies are very similar to our parents, teachers, bosses and coaches. They demand we make responsible choices and work hard to be successful. They expect us to wake up on time, show up when we’re suppose to and hand things in when they’re due. Our bodies are just as demanding. Our bodies expect us to eat balanced meals containing complex carbohydrates, protein, fruit and vegetables, healthy fat, and goodies every now and then. They also thrive on smaller meals throughout the day, the proper amount of calories for our body size and activity, and all the little things such as not eating at all hours of the night, not skipping meals and not loading our bodies with innutritious meals.
There are always consequences to your actions. Your mom yells at you when you don’t wake up on time. Your boss threatens to fire you if you don’t hand in the next assignment on time. Your body does the same thing through extra weight, decreased energy and low self-esteem–all results of irresponsible choices in our nutrition habits.
We are successful in so many other areas of our life–career, parenting, education, relationships and hobbies, but when it comes to eating healthy we are about as successful as that 12th grader who did whatever they wanted in high school. You know, the one who realized way too late you can’t have instant gratification all your life if you want to be successful. After realizing this they hoped to turn things around the last couple months after spending their entire high school career making irresponsible choices. How many times have we tried a fad diet or insisted we were going to eat healthy for a few weeks in hopes of changing all of our bad habits over the years.
It doesn’t work that way in life and it doesn’t work that way with our bodies if we want to be successful. Why don’t we go to the casinos more, sleep in until noon, not do laundry, stay up late at night… because there are consequences. Why do we eat 2,000 calories in one sitting, skip breakfast, eat junk food all day long and neglect the nutrients our bodies crave?
Demand more of yourself when it comes to nutrition. Our parents, teachers, bosses and coaches demand more and hold us accountable. Do the same for yourself. Be tolerant and understanding of your imperfections, but don’t justify and forgive yourself every chance you get. The most important consequences of our lives are staring us in the face – our healthy or unhealthy bodies!
Be creative when it comes to nutrition. If you eat chocolate every day, set a goal to eat it only 6 times a week. Slowly work your way down to a more manageable means. Along the way, set up systems that will help you achieve your goal. For example, the day you don’t eat chocolate, you’re probably going to have cravings. When you do, find something that helps you overcome those cravings. Maybe drink a fruit smoothie to combat the sugar craving or sit down and write out all the reasons why you want to stop eating chocolate. Find a way to help you build positive habits.
Make it fun! Get together with friends and family and figure out ways to help each other. We do this at work, school or for a social club, why shouldn’t we do it for our No. 1 priority – ourselves!
Learn to Avoid Actions with Consequences
-- By Joe Downie, Certified Physical Fitness Instructor
SparkPeople advertisers help keep the site free! Learn more
Our bodies are very similar to our parents, teachers, bosses and coaches. They demand we make responsible choices and work hard to be successful. They expect us to wake up on time, show up when we’re suppose to and hand things in when they’re due. Our bodies are just as demanding. Our bodies expect us to eat balanced meals containing complex carbohydrates, protein, fruit and vegetables, healthy fat, and goodies every now and then. They also thrive on smaller meals throughout the day, the proper amount of calories for our body size and activity, and all the little things such as not eating at all hours of the night, not skipping meals and not loading our bodies with innutritious meals.
There are always consequences to your actions. Your mom yells at you when you don’t wake up on time. Your boss threatens to fire you if you don’t hand in the next assignment on time. Your body does the same thing through extra weight, decreased energy and low self-esteem–all results of irresponsible choices in our nutrition habits.
We are successful in so many other areas of our life–career, parenting, education, relationships and hobbies, but when it comes to eating healthy we are about as successful as that 12th grader who did whatever they wanted in high school. You know, the one who realized way too late you can’t have instant gratification all your life if you want to be successful. After realizing this they hoped to turn things around the last couple months after spending their entire high school career making irresponsible choices. How many times have we tried a fad diet or insisted we were going to eat healthy for a few weeks in hopes of changing all of our bad habits over the years.
It doesn’t work that way in life and it doesn’t work that way with our bodies if we want to be successful. Why don’t we go to the casinos more, sleep in until noon, not do laundry, stay up late at night… because there are consequences. Why do we eat 2,000 calories in one sitting, skip breakfast, eat junk food all day long and neglect the nutrients our bodies crave?
Demand more of yourself when it comes to nutrition. Our parents, teachers, bosses and coaches demand more and hold us accountable. Do the same for yourself. Be tolerant and understanding of your imperfections, but don’t justify and forgive yourself every chance you get. The most important consequences of our lives are staring us in the face – our healthy or unhealthy bodies!
Be creative when it comes to nutrition. If you eat chocolate every day, set a goal to eat it only 6 times a week. Slowly work your way down to a more manageable means. Along the way, set up systems that will help you achieve your goal. For example, the day you don’t eat chocolate, you’re probably going to have cravings. When you do, find something that helps you overcome those cravings. Maybe drink a fruit smoothie to combat the sugar craving or sit down and write out all the reasons why you want to stop eating chocolate. Find a way to help you build positive habits.
Make it fun! Get together with friends and family and figure out ways to help each other. We do this at work, school or for a social club, why shouldn’t we do it for our No. 1 priority – ourselves!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Field Day June 8th, 2010
Another school year is coming to an end and this is such an exciting time for the children. Field Day is always a day that the children look forward to, a fun filled day of fun games and challenges.
This year we have 13 stations for the children to challenge themselves and I might add that these stations are not your typical races. The children get a kick out of doing some of the unusual races and it always brings at least a few smiles to every child.
This year the Grades K & 1 will have their field day in the morning, 9:45ish to 11:00AM and Grades 2 & 3 will start at 1:30 to 3:00PM, followed by Popsicles for each session. So we hope parents can attend and sign up to help out, if they can, with stations, but more importantly, just being there for your children to share in their day is what its all about!
We hope you can attend and please feel free to call should you have any questions.
This year we have 13 stations for the children to challenge themselves and I might add that these stations are not your typical races. The children get a kick out of doing some of the unusual races and it always brings at least a few smiles to every child.
This year the Grades K & 1 will have their field day in the morning, 9:45ish to 11:00AM and Grades 2 & 3 will start at 1:30 to 3:00PM, followed by Popsicles for each session. So we hope parents can attend and sign up to help out, if they can, with stations, but more importantly, just being there for your children to share in their day is what its all about!
We hope you can attend and please feel free to call should you have any questions.
A strategy to help kids excel-By Dr. Patrick Cohn
A sports parent tells us her son really shines on the field
during practice. "He's way beyond all the other boys in terms of
technical and tactical skills during practice."
However, here's the "But." And it's a big one.
During a game, she says, you wouldn't know her son excels in
practice.
Does this sound familiar? Do your sports kids have trouble
transferring skills from practice to games? Read on to learn how
sports parents and coaches can conquer this challenge.
During a game, this parent says, her son plays with no
confidence. "He says he is afraid of losing the ball. He wouldn't
lose the ball if he applied his skills."
This sports parent put her finger right on a common problem: Fear
and lack of trust. That's often what holds kids back during
games. In fact, young athletes who are highly motivated and
--sometimes perfectionists-- experience this challenge.
These athletes love to train, but lack confidence during games.
They tend to analyze and question their technique at precisely
the wrong moment—when they're competing. They're afraid of making
mistakes.
In order to feel confident during games, young athletes need to
strike a balance between what we call the "practice" mindset and
the "performance" mindset.
Many motivated or goal-oriented athletes excel in practice. They
like to improve and love to train.. However, if they focus too
much on improving, they may lose faith in their skills during
competition. They lack trust in what they have learned.
Coaches and sports parents can undermine kids' trust in their
skills when they over-coach kids before games. When kids focus
too much on proper technique during games and attempt to be
"perfect" when performing, they can't react or perform from
memory.
Instead, you need to encourage kids to leave practice on the
field or court or in the gym. Help them switch to a "performer"
or "intuitive" mindset. They need to be more reactive and to keep
things simple. "See the ball and hit it."
Also, tell them to stop analyzing or judging their technique
during competition. They should accept that they can't be perfect.
Want to learn more about how to improve kids' confidence and
transfer what they've learned in practice to competition? Grab
our Kids' Sports Psychology e-book, "Twelve Pre-game Strategies
to Help Athletes Trust in Their Skills."
If you're already an exclusive Kids' Sports Psychology member,
you can download the e-book now. We also have other mental
toughness resources about this topic, including:
*Success stories from Kids' Sports Psychology Members
*Pre-competition Mental Game Review Sheets for Young Athletes
*Interviews with young athletes and our analysis of their mental
game ("Inside the Minds of Young Athletes")
This is just for starters. At Kids' Sports Psychology, you can
download loads of other resources--e-books, audios, videos and
articles designed to help instill confidence and success in young
athletes:
http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/
Your Confidence Coaches,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn
P.S. If you're already a Kids' Sports Psychology member, you can
visit this page to download our e-book, "Twelve Pre-game
Strategies to Help Athletes Trust in Their Skills:
http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/public/449.cfm
during practice. "He's way beyond all the other boys in terms of
technical and tactical skills during practice."
However, here's the "But." And it's a big one.
During a game, she says, you wouldn't know her son excels in
practice.
Does this sound familiar? Do your sports kids have trouble
transferring skills from practice to games? Read on to learn how
sports parents and coaches can conquer this challenge.
During a game, this parent says, her son plays with no
confidence. "He says he is afraid of losing the ball. He wouldn't
lose the ball if he applied his skills."
This sports parent put her finger right on a common problem: Fear
and lack of trust. That's often what holds kids back during
games. In fact, young athletes who are highly motivated and
--sometimes perfectionists-- experience this challenge.
These athletes love to train, but lack confidence during games.
They tend to analyze and question their technique at precisely
the wrong moment—when they're competing. They're afraid of making
mistakes.
In order to feel confident during games, young athletes need to
strike a balance between what we call the "practice" mindset and
the "performance" mindset.
Many motivated or goal-oriented athletes excel in practice. They
like to improve and love to train.. However, if they focus too
much on improving, they may lose faith in their skills during
competition. They lack trust in what they have learned.
Coaches and sports parents can undermine kids' trust in their
skills when they over-coach kids before games. When kids focus
too much on proper technique during games and attempt to be
"perfect" when performing, they can't react or perform from
memory.
Instead, you need to encourage kids to leave practice on the
field or court or in the gym. Help them switch to a "performer"
or "intuitive" mindset. They need to be more reactive and to keep
things simple. "See the ball and hit it."
Also, tell them to stop analyzing or judging their technique
during competition. They should accept that they can't be perfect.
Want to learn more about how to improve kids' confidence and
transfer what they've learned in practice to competition? Grab
our Kids' Sports Psychology e-book, "Twelve Pre-game Strategies
to Help Athletes Trust in Their Skills."
If you're already an exclusive Kids' Sports Psychology member,
you can download the e-book now. We also have other mental
toughness resources about this topic, including:
*Success stories from Kids' Sports Psychology Members
*Pre-competition Mental Game Review Sheets for Young Athletes
*Interviews with young athletes and our analysis of their mental
game ("Inside the Minds of Young Athletes")
This is just for starters. At Kids' Sports Psychology, you can
download loads of other resources--e-books, audios, videos and
articles designed to help instill confidence and success in young
athletes:
http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/
Your Confidence Coaches,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn
P.S. If you're already a Kids' Sports Psychology member, you can
visit this page to download our e-book, "Twelve Pre-game
Strategies to Help Athletes Trust in Their Skills:
http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/public/449.cfm
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Your Sports Kids Could Be Targets by Dr. Patrick Cohn
Thursday, May 20, 2010 ·
Your sports kids could be the targets of intimidation, harassment, exclusion, physical aggression and other forms of bullying—from athletes and/or coaches. And you might not even know it.
Why? Often, young athletes’ first reaction to being treated this way is shame, says Mark Hamilton, a professor of philosophy who teaches college courses in sports ethics at Ashland University.
Sports kids are embarrassed to talk about such treatment.
As a former college player and coach, a youth sports coach, and sports parent, Hamilton knows what he’s talking about. Read on to learn how to protect your kids and combat the bullying epidemic in sports.
Bullied sports kids feel as if they are guilty of something and actually caused kids to treat them badly, says Hamilton. “Victims often feel like it’s their fault and there’s something wrong with them.”
Hamilton saw the negative effects of bullying early on when his brother was ridiculed and pushed out of sports. Bullying in sports, he says, can be devastating.
In the least, harassment, intimidation and other forms of bullying will sink kids’ confidence and hurt their success and enjoyment of sports. At its worst, these aggressive behaviors can cause young athletes to drop out of sports and to feel depressed.
“They’ll want to quit the sport,” says Hamilton. Parents will often feel confused, and think their kids are wimping out, he says. That’s because kids are often too embarrassed to explain what’s happening to them on the court or field or in the gym.
All kinds of sports kids can be the targets of bullies….
1. Gifted athletes are often targeted because others are jealous.
2. Kids who are smaller and less physically advanced also can become the focus of bullies.
3. When kids are competing for a ladder position on a team, bullying is also common.
This behavior is rampant among both girls and boys.
What’s the solution?
Hamilton says parents need to be especially tuned into the possibility that their kids might be bullied. That means talking about it openly and establishing a family culture that encourages kids to talk about such treatment. But that’s not all. We need a revolution, he says. And everyone should be involved.
“The first step is revolutionize sports and teach people it’s unacceptable from player to player and coach to athlete and from coach or parent or any other person involved– including the officials,” he says.
Here at the Ultimate Sports Parent, we want to join the revolution and help wipe out bullying in sports. That’s why we’re about to release a new program:
“Helping Sports Kids Stay Confident and Mentally Tough in the Face of Bullying.”
We’ll have all the details for you on Monday, May 24, when we release our new program. Stay tuned….
Your sports kids could be the targets of intimidation, harassment, exclusion, physical aggression and other forms of bullying—from athletes and/or coaches. And you might not even know it.
Why? Often, young athletes’ first reaction to being treated this way is shame, says Mark Hamilton, a professor of philosophy who teaches college courses in sports ethics at Ashland University.
Sports kids are embarrassed to talk about such treatment.
As a former college player and coach, a youth sports coach, and sports parent, Hamilton knows what he’s talking about. Read on to learn how to protect your kids and combat the bullying epidemic in sports.
Bullied sports kids feel as if they are guilty of something and actually caused kids to treat them badly, says Hamilton. “Victims often feel like it’s their fault and there’s something wrong with them.”
Hamilton saw the negative effects of bullying early on when his brother was ridiculed and pushed out of sports. Bullying in sports, he says, can be devastating.
In the least, harassment, intimidation and other forms of bullying will sink kids’ confidence and hurt their success and enjoyment of sports. At its worst, these aggressive behaviors can cause young athletes to drop out of sports and to feel depressed.
“They’ll want to quit the sport,” says Hamilton. Parents will often feel confused, and think their kids are wimping out, he says. That’s because kids are often too embarrassed to explain what’s happening to them on the court or field or in the gym.
All kinds of sports kids can be the targets of bullies….
1. Gifted athletes are often targeted because others are jealous.
2. Kids who are smaller and less physically advanced also can become the focus of bullies.
3. When kids are competing for a ladder position on a team, bullying is also common.
This behavior is rampant among both girls and boys.
What’s the solution?
Hamilton says parents need to be especially tuned into the possibility that their kids might be bullied. That means talking about it openly and establishing a family culture that encourages kids to talk about such treatment. But that’s not all. We need a revolution, he says. And everyone should be involved.
“The first step is revolutionize sports and teach people it’s unacceptable from player to player and coach to athlete and from coach or parent or any other person involved– including the officials,” he says.
Here at the Ultimate Sports Parent, we want to join the revolution and help wipe out bullying in sports. That’s why we’re about to release a new program:
“Helping Sports Kids Stay Confident and Mentally Tough in the Face of Bullying.”
We’ll have all the details for you on Monday, May 24, when we release our new program. Stay tuned….
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Why do sports kids bully? by Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.
(Video link of discussion provided in links section of this blog)
Judging from the many emails and comments we've received from
sports parents and coaches lately, bullying is an important
topic to you.
It should be. Bullying is rampant in sports--and kids don't like
to talk about it.
We just produced a new video on bullying for you. Whether you're
a sports parent concerned about how your kids are treated in
sports, or a coach who want what's best for your young athletes,
you need to watch this.
Today we're sharing an interview with Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., a
psychologist with 25 years' experience and the author of "Why
Good Kids Act Cruel.”
In this interview--conducted by Lisa Cohn--Dr. Pickhardt explains
why kids bully and what issues make bullying worse. He reveals:
--> The five most typical bullying behaviors.
--> The developmental issues that cause kids to treat each other
badly—even when they're good kids.
--> What kids are looking for when they try to hurt each other.
--> When and how bullying behavior improves.
--> The critical role of coaches in either preventing or
exacerbating bullying in sports.
To see our video based on Lisa's interview with Dr. Pickhardt,
watch it on our blog:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=627
Sincerely,
Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.
P.S. Thanks so much for all your emails and blog entries, which
we're incorporating into new resources aimed at fighting
bullying in sports.
If you have more to add to the conversation, please return this
email or post your anonymous comment on our blog:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=621
Judging from the many emails and comments we've received from
sports parents and coaches lately, bullying is an important
topic to you.
It should be. Bullying is rampant in sports--and kids don't like
to talk about it.
We just produced a new video on bullying for you. Whether you're
a sports parent concerned about how your kids are treated in
sports, or a coach who want what's best for your young athletes,
you need to watch this.
Today we're sharing an interview with Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., a
psychologist with 25 years' experience and the author of "Why
Good Kids Act Cruel.”
In this interview--conducted by Lisa Cohn--Dr. Pickhardt explains
why kids bully and what issues make bullying worse. He reveals:
--> The five most typical bullying behaviors.
--> The developmental issues that cause kids to treat each other
badly—even when they're good kids.
--> What kids are looking for when they try to hurt each other.
--> When and how bullying behavior improves.
--> The critical role of coaches in either preventing or
exacerbating bullying in sports.
To see our video based on Lisa's interview with Dr. Pickhardt,
watch it on our blog:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=627
Sincerely,
Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.
P.S. Thanks so much for all your emails and blog entries, which
we're incorporating into new resources aimed at fighting
bullying in sports.
If you have more to add to the conversation, please return this
email or post your anonymous comment on our blog:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=621
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Fight Bullying in Sports by Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn
Bullying is an epidemic in our society today. It's especially
rampant in sports.
A recent survey of high school students across the U.S. found
that 48% of respondents had been subjected to hazing--a form of
bullying in which kids are humiliated or required to take part
in dangerous activities. Much of this hazing happens in sports,
the study found.
Young athletes are bullied by adults as well as peers. Youth
coaches often yell at, tease, humiliate and intimidate kids.
Bullying is a sure-fire way to hurt young athletes' confidence
and enjoyment of sports. In fact, many kids who are bullied drop
out.
Parents have told us they don't know what to do to help their
kids cope with bullies--or how to prevent them from quitting
when they're targets.
Paul Coughlin, a sports dad and coach, says his son quit playing
soccer because two of the kids on the team picked on his son
repeatedly. "They made fun of his hair and what he was wearing,"
he says.
In this case, the bullies were physically advanced, and used
that power to put other kids down, he says. "It was awful for us
as parents. We felt powerless," says Coughlin, now an
anti-bullying advocate.
Not only are the less physically advanced athletes targets of
bullies. So are gifted athletes. Bullies try to hurt gifted
athletes because they're jealous.
Kirsten, a sports mom, says a group of jealous boys tried to
beat up her son. They also stole his belongings, damaged his
belongings, and described sexual acts to him.
Kids, parents and coaches should not tolerate bullies. But
dealing with them is tricky. That's because kids are afraid and
embarrassed to talk about being bullied.
What's more, bullies are crafty and it's hard to catch them. And
schools, sports teams and other organizations often turn a blind
eye to bullies.
Here at the Ultimate Sports Parent, we're developing a series of
resources to show parents and coaches how to help kids stay
mentally tough in the face of bullies.
We're also working on resources specifically for young athletes,
aimed at helping them stay mentally tough in the likely event
that they'll deal with this challenge at some point in sports.
We'll reveal more details of our new program later, but our aim
is to provide practical, proven sports psychology tips for
helping kids stay confident, focused and on track when bullies
target them.
Right now, we need your help!
Do you have any stories to share with us about bullying? You
might discuss the following:
*Have your kids or any of their friends ever been the target of
bullies—peers or coaches--in sports?
*How did this treatment affect the young athletes?
*How did you as parents and your kids' coaches address this?
*Were your efforts successful in putting an end to the bullying?
We'd appreciate it if you post your comments on our blog here:
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=621
If you'd rather, you can also reply to this email with your
story.
Thanks for your input. Stay tuned for more bullying resources
very soon.
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn
P.S. One last question: Do you suspect or worry your young
athlete may be bullied in sports, but feel he or she is too
embarrassed to tell you? Please post your comments on our blog
or return this email!
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=621
rampant in sports.
A recent survey of high school students across the U.S. found
that 48% of respondents had been subjected to hazing--a form of
bullying in which kids are humiliated or required to take part
in dangerous activities. Much of this hazing happens in sports,
the study found.
Young athletes are bullied by adults as well as peers. Youth
coaches often yell at, tease, humiliate and intimidate kids.
Bullying is a sure-fire way to hurt young athletes' confidence
and enjoyment of sports. In fact, many kids who are bullied drop
out.
Parents have told us they don't know what to do to help their
kids cope with bullies--or how to prevent them from quitting
when they're targets.
Paul Coughlin, a sports dad and coach, says his son quit playing
soccer because two of the kids on the team picked on his son
repeatedly. "They made fun of his hair and what he was wearing,"
he says.
In this case, the bullies were physically advanced, and used
that power to put other kids down, he says. "It was awful for us
as parents. We felt powerless," says Coughlin, now an
anti-bullying advocate.
Not only are the less physically advanced athletes targets of
bullies. So are gifted athletes. Bullies try to hurt gifted
athletes because they're jealous.
Kirsten, a sports mom, says a group of jealous boys tried to
beat up her son. They also stole his belongings, damaged his
belongings, and described sexual acts to him.
Kids, parents and coaches should not tolerate bullies. But
dealing with them is tricky. That's because kids are afraid and
embarrassed to talk about being bullied.
What's more, bullies are crafty and it's hard to catch them. And
schools, sports teams and other organizations often turn a blind
eye to bullies.
Here at the Ultimate Sports Parent, we're developing a series of
resources to show parents and coaches how to help kids stay
mentally tough in the face of bullies.
We're also working on resources specifically for young athletes,
aimed at helping them stay mentally tough in the likely event
that they'll deal with this challenge at some point in sports.
We'll reveal more details of our new program later, but our aim
is to provide practical, proven sports psychology tips for
helping kids stay confident, focused and on track when bullies
target them.
Right now, we need your help!
Do you have any stories to share with us about bullying? You
might discuss the following:
*Have your kids or any of their friends ever been the target of
bullies—peers or coaches--in sports?
*How did this treatment affect the young athletes?
*How did you as parents and your kids' coaches address this?
*Were your efforts successful in putting an end to the bullying?
We'd appreciate it if you post your comments on our blog here:
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=621
If you'd rather, you can also reply to this email with your
story.
Thanks for your input. Stay tuned for more bullying resources
very soon.
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. and Lisa Cohn
P.S. One last question: Do you suspect or worry your young
athlete may be bullied in sports, but feel he or she is too
embarrassed to tell you? Please post your comments on our blog
or return this email!
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/youth_sports_psychology_blog/?p=621
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